kutzkattherine.the bishopsheir-第68部分

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〃It　…　sounds　like　I　have　another　aunt　or　niece；〃　Dhugal　breathed；　〃depending　on　which　one　of　us　was　Maryse's　child。〃
〃That's　true；〃　Duncan　murmured。　〃But　I　would　be　willing　to　wager　everything　I　hold　dear；　including　any　slight　chance　I　may　have　of　salvation；　that　you　are　Maryse's　child。　Shall　I　tell　you　why？〃
Dhugal　nodded　solemnly。
〃Because　Maryse's　child　by　me　would　be　part　Deryni　…　　and　I　think　that's　what　we've　been　getting　hints　of；　ever　since　you　and　Kelson　got　back　together；〃　Duncan　said　steadily。　〃I　think　that　night　at　Transha；　when　you　helped　Kelson　reach　Alaric；　was　a　catalyst　that　went　awry。　Your　Deryni　potentials　started　to　be　touched　for　the　first　time；　but　it　was　frightening；　and　you　froze　up。　That　would　also　explain　why；　when　we　later　tried　to　read　you　and　find　out　what　had　been　going　on；　you　felt　most　fortable　with　me。　Do　you　remember？〃
Dhugal's　eyes　had　been　getting　wider　and　wider　as　Duncan　spoke；　now　his　hands　were　trembling。　Quickly　he　clamped　them　together　to　make　them　stop；　not　daring　to　take　his　eyes　from　Duncan's。
〃I　…　want　to　believe　you；〃　he　finally　managed　to　whisper。　〃I　mean　no　disrespect　to　my　f　…　to　Lord　Caulay；　but　if　…　if　you　are　my　father；　it　would　certainly　explain　a　lot。〃
Slowly　Duncan　drew　deep　breath。　The　time　was　e　to　take　the　final　chance。
〃I　know　of　only　one　way　to　prove　that　to　you；　beyond　what　I've　already　done；　Dhugal；〃　he　said　softly。　〃If　I　am　your　father；　then　you're　Deryni；　too。　And　if　you're　Deryni；　then　…　if　you're　willing　…　I　should　be　able　to　form　a　mind…link　with　you　and　show　you　exactly　what　I　remember　about　your　mother　and　me。　I　loved　her　very　much；　Dhugal；　and　I've　e　to　care　a　great　deal　for　you；　over　the　years；　before　I　ever　suspected　you　might　be　my　son。　I　can't　make　up　for　all　the　years　you've　lived　in　ignorance　…　　and　that's　the　fault　of　no　one　who's　still　alive　…　but　I　can　try　to　bridge　the　gap　now　that　I　know　it's　there。　Do　you　trust　me？〃
〃Yes；〃　Dhugal　breathed。
〃No；　do　you　really　trust　me？〃　Duncan　insisted。　〃You　trusted　me　before　and　weren't　able　to　let　me　in。　Do　you　think　you　might　be　ready　now？〃
〃Duncan；　I'm　not　sure　we　really　have　the　time；〃　Morgan　murmured。
〃If　it's　going　to　work　without　a　lot　of　trouble；　it　isn't　going　to　take　a　lot　of　time；〃　Duncan　replied；　not　taking　his　eyes　off　the　boy。　〃We'll　be　given　the　time；　if　that's　what　Dhugal　really　wants。〃
Dhugal　swallowed　and　nodded。　〃He's　right；　Morgan；〃　he　breathed。　〃We　have　to　try　it　now。　Would　you　go　to　Kelson；　please；　and　tell　him　I'll　be　there　directly？　Don't　tell　him　what's　happened。　He　has　enough　to　think　about　just　now。〃
〃Duncan？〃　Morgan　asked。
〃Do　as　he　asks；〃　the　priest　replied。　〃We'll　be　all　right。〃


CHAPTER　TWENTY…ONE
I　will　be　to　him　a　Father；　and　he　shall　be　to　me　a　Son。
Hebrews　1：5
As　soon　as　the　door　had　closed　behind　Morgan；　Duncan　glanced　at　Dhugal。
〃We　haven't　any　time　to　spare；〃　he　said　softly。　〃If　you　want　your　proof　now；　you're　going　to　have　to　do　exactly　as　I　say；　perhaps　without　as　full　an　explanation　as　either　of　us　would　want。〃
Dhugal　shook　his　head　slowly。　〃I　don't　want　to　wait；　Fa　…　〃　He　lowered　his　eyes。　〃I　just　realized　that　maybe　I've　been　calling　you　by　the　proper　name　all　these　years；〃　he　continued　softly。　〃Strange；　but　it　somehow　feels　so　much　more　fortable　than　when　I　used　to　call　Caulay　my　father。〃
〃He　was　your　father；　in　all　the　ways　that　are　most　important　to　a　boy　growing　up。　I　wish　I'd　had　the　chance　to　watch　you　grow。　Of　course；　I　did；　in　a　way；　knowing　you　at　court　and　all　…　but　I　think　I　might　have　felt　differently　if　I'd　known　you　were　my　son。〃
〃Maybe　it　was　meant　to　be　this　way；〃　Dhugal　replied　shyly。　〃Maybe　I　had　to　lose　one　father　before　I　could　find　the　other。　If　I'd　known　about　you　while　Caulay　was　still　alive；　I　wouldn't　have　wanted　to　hurt　him。〃
〃Nor　I。　And　I　hope　you'll　always　honor　his　memory。〃　Duncan　smiled　as　he　laid　a　hand　lightly　on　Dhugal's　forearm。　〃He　gave　you　his　name　and　his　protection　in　the　years　when　you　were　most　vulnerable。　Now　that　he's　gone　and　you're　a　man；　no　one　will　be　hurt　by　the　truth。〃　The　smile　broadened　to　a　grin。
〃You　should　know　that　there's　at　least　one　plication　that　could　be　…　ah　…　awkward；　at　best。　If　I'm　to　acknowledge　you；　as　is　my　intention　…　if　you　want　it；　that　is　…　there　are　going　to　be　those　who　will　call　you　bastard　in　addition　to　Deryni；　of　course。〃
Dhugal　smiled。　〃They've　called　you　and　Morgan　bastards　for　years。　Somehow　I've　never　gotten　the　impression　that　had　anything　to　do　with　your　paternity。〃
〃No。〃　Reaching　into　the　front　of　his　cassock；　Duncan　rose　and　moved　a　stool　in　front　of　Dhugal's　chair；　withdrawing　the　shiral　crystal　on　its　leather　thong　as　he　sat。
〃You　remember　this；〃　he　said　simply；　placing　it　in　Dhugal's　hand。　〃It　was　your　mother's。　She　gave　it　to　me　the　night　I　gave　her　the　cloak　clasp。〃
Dhugal　ran　a　thumb　across　the　rough…polished　stone　and　nodded　slowly。　〃What　am　I　supposed　to　do　this　time？〃
〃I'll　do　most　of　what　needs　to　be　done。　All　I　ask　is　that　you　try　to　be　open　and　unafraid。　We'll　try　to　use　the　crystal　as　a　link　between　us。　You　may　feel　some　odd　sensations；　perhaps　even　some　unfortable　ones；　but　I　promise　I　won't　hurt　you。　To　start；　all　I　want　you　to　do　is　concentrate　on　the　crystal　and　try　to　seen　Maryse　in　your　mind's　eye。　Have　you　seen　paintings　of　her？〃
Dhugal　closed　the　crystal　in　his　fist　and　gave　another　nod。
〃One　miniature。　That　was　a　long　time　ago；　though。〃
〃Then　let　me　paint　a　picture　in　your　mind　with　my　words；〃　Duncan　said　softly；　closing　one　hand　around　Dhugal's　hand　that　held　the　crystal　and　resting　the　other　on　top　of　his　head　as　if　in　benediction。　〃Close　your　eyes　and　try　to　see　her；　in　as　much　detail　as　you　can　remember。　Don't　force　it；　though；　try　to　coax　it。　See　her　fair　hair；　like　molten　silver　flowing　halfway　down　her　back；　bound　across　the　brow　with　a　fillet　of　tiny　metal　flowers。。。　primroses；　I　think　they　were。〃
He　could　feel　Dhugal　relaxing　under　his　touch；　and　he；　too；　closed　his　eyes；　seeing　the　image　of　a　long…lost　love。
〃There　were　tiny　golden　stones　set　in　the　centers　of　the　flowers；　the　exact　shade　of　her　eyes　…　almost　the　same　shade　as　yours；〃　Duncan　went　on　quietly。　〃And　she　wore　a　gown　of　pink　that　matched　her　blush。。。　fair；　very　fair　skin。。。。〃
As　he　spoke；　gently　insinuating　thoughts　along　with　words；　he　could　begin　to　read　the　image　forming　in　Dhugal's　mind　as　well　as　his　own；　just　on　the　surface　at　first；　then　gradually　eroding　the　pulsing；　troublesome　shields。
〃She　had　a　laugh　like　silver　bells。。。　a　serenity　as　still　and　deep　as　the　lake　at　Shannis　Meer。。。。〃
Even　as　Duncan's　voice　trailed　off　and　he　tried　a　stronger　probe；　he　was　past　Dhugal's　shields　and　in　his　mind；　driving　the　memories　across　the　unconscious　links　and　into　Dhugal's　consciousness；　holding　the　channel　open　relentlessly　when　Dhugal　sensed　what　was　happening　and　would　have　drawn　back　in　momentary　panic。　He　felt　Dhugal　gasp　as　something　psychic　snapped；　but　he　damped　the　sharp　wrench　of　pain　which　followed　even　as　he　pulled　Dhugal　closer　and　gave　him　physical　fort。
All　in　an　instant；　all　the　barriers　were　down　and　Dhugal　was　with　him；　reliving　those　halcyon　days　with　Maryse。　Shy　meetings　in　corridor　and　castle　hall；　wind…blown　rides　on　the　downs　around　the　castle；　shared　meals　of　travel　fare　under　the　forest　canopy　of　nearby　Alduin；　tender　glances　and　shy；　chaste　kisses　in　the　warm；　earthy　shadow…space　between　their　ponies；　sheltered　from　prying　eyes　…　
And　then　the　clans　were　home；　the　awful　news　spreading：　how　Ardry　MacArdry；　tanist　of　Maryse's　clan；　had　quarrelled　with　a　McLain　retainer　over　a　tavern　wench　。。。　MacArdry　blood　spilling。。。　the　hangman's　noose　for　the　murderer　and　grim；　silent　escort　for　both　bodies　back　to　Culdi；　just　long　enough　for　the　MacArdry　to　gather　up　the　rest　of　his　family　and　go；　before　a　blood　feud　broke　out　anew。
Maryse's　panic　as　they　realized　the　personal　significance　of　what　had　happened。。。　Duncan's　despair。。。　defiant　agreement　in　a　castle　hallway　to　meet　in　the　chapel　later　that　night。。。　the　rendezvous　itself　…　desperate；　fearful　at　the　presumption　as　they　made　their　vows　before　God　alone。。。。
And　then　the　consummation；　in　a　warm；　sheltered　corner　of　the　stable　loft　…　hurried；　fumbling；　only　partially　satisfying；　but　joyous；　nonetheless。。。　and　parting　so　soon　after。。。　and　parting　for　good；　the　next　morning；　as　Duncan　watched　her　and　her　family　ride　out　of　Culdi　and　out　of　his　life；　neither　of　them　dreaming　that　she　carried　the　child　of　their　love。。。。
The　sheer　force　of　the　emotion　which　surged　with　Duncan's　remembrance　flooded　through　Dhugal's　mind　with　such　a　pressure　that　no　resistance　was　possible；　nor；　once　the　pathways　were　in　use；　did　Dhugal　feel　any　further　fear　or　apprehension。　Duncan　sensed　almost　the　exact　instant　when　Dhugal　made　that　conscious　choice　to　let　the　mindlink　fill　him　…　and　the　surge；　as　Dhugal　opened　to　his　father's　mental　touch；　gave　new　impetus　to　the　sharing　Duncan　now　pursued　even　more。
Sparing　only　the　areas　of　confidence　which　might　not　be　shared　with　anyone　…　his　priestly　secrets　and　duties；　the　confidences　of　others　…　Duncan　poured　forth　all　the　memories　of　the　years　he　and　Dhugal　had　lost；　intertwining　them　with　Dhugal's　own　…　sparser；　for　sheer　number；　but