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第14部分

osc.am2.redprophet-第14部分

小说: osc.am2.redprophet 字数: 每页4000字

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 One eye sees night; other eye sees black noise。 Have to stop。 Have to stop。
  Very carefully Lolla…Wossiky found a tree; put down the keg; sat down and leaned against the tree; keg between his legs。 Very slowly because he couldn't see; he felt the keg all over to make sure of the bung。 Tap tap tap with the tommy…hawk; tap; tap; tap till the bung was loose。 Slowly he wiggled it out with his fingers。 Then he leaned over and put his mouth over the bunghole; tight as a kiss; tight as a baby on the nipple; that's how tight; then up with the keg; very slow; very slow; not very high; there's the taste; there's the likker; one swallow; two swallows; three swallows; four。
  Four is all。 Four is the end。 Four is the true number; the whole number; the square number。 Four swallows。
  He put the bung back into the keg and tapped it into place; tight。 Already the likker is getting to his head。 Already the black noise is fading; fading。
  Into silence。 Into beautiful green silence。
  But the green also goes away; fading with the black。 Every time it goes this way。 The land sense; the green vision that every Red has; nobody ever saw it clearer than Lolla…Wossiky。 But now when it es; right behind it es the black noise every time。 And when the black noise goes; when the likker chases it off; right behind it goes away the green living silence every time。
  Lolla…Wossiky is left like a White man then。 Cut off from the land。 Ground crunching underfoot。 Branches snagging。 Roots tripping。 Animals running away。
  Lolla…Wossiky hoped; hoped for years to find just the right amount of likker to drink; to still the black noise and still leave the green vision。 Four swallows; that was as close as he ever came。 It left the black noise just out of reach; just behind the nearest tree。 But it also left the green where he could just touch it。 Just reach it。 So he could pretend to be a true Red instead of a whisky…Red; which was really a White。
  Tonight; though; he had been without likker so long; two months except for a cup now and then; that four swallows was too strong for him。 The green was gone with the black。 But he didn't care; not today。 Didn't care; had to sleep。
  
  ***
  
  When he woke up in the morning; the black noise was just ing back。 He wasn't sure whether the sun or the noise woke him; and he didn't care。 Tap on the bung; four swallows; tap it closed。 This time the land sensed stayed close by; he could feel it a little。 Enough to find the rabbit in the hole。
  Thick old stick。 Cut it here; slice it; slice it; so splintery burrs of wood stuck out in every direction。
  Lolla…Wossiky knelt down in front of the rabbit hole。
  〃I am very hungry;〃 he whispered。 〃And I am not very strong。 Will you give me meat?〃
  He strained to hear the answer; strained to know if it was right。 But it was too far off; and rabbits were very quiet in their land…voice。 Once; he remembered; he could hear all the voices; and from miles and miles away。 Maybe if the black noise ever went away; he could hear again。 But for now; he had no way of knowing if the rabbits gave consent or not。
  So he didn't know if he had the right or not。 Didn't know if he was taking like a Red man; just what the land offered; or stealing like a White man; murdering whatever it pleased him to kill。 He had no choice。 He thrust the stick into the burrow; twisting it。 He felt it quiver; heard the squeal; and pulled it out; still twisting。 Little rabbit; not a big one; just a little rabbit squirming to get away from the splinters; but Lolla…Wossiky was quick; just at the moment the rabbit was at the burrow mouth; ready to get free and run; Lolla…Wossiky had his hand there; held the rabbit by the head; lifted it quickly into the air and gave it a snap and a shake。 It came down dead; little rabbit; and Lolla…Wossiky carried it away from the burrow; back to the keg; because it is very bad; it makes an empty place in the land; if you skin a baby animal where its kin can see or hear you。
  He did not make a fire。 Too dangerous; and there was no time to smoke the meat; not this close to White Murderer Harrison's fort。 There wasn't much meat anyway; he ate it all; raw so it took chewing but the flavor was very strong and good。 If you can't smoke meat; Red man knows; carry all you can in your belly。 He tucked the hide into the waist of his loincloth; hoisted the keg over his shoulder; and started north。 The white light was on ahead of him; dream beast calling; dream beast urging him on。 I will wake you up; said the dream beast。 I will end your dream。
  White man heard about dream beasts。 White man thought the Red man went out into the forest and had dreams。 Stupid White man; never understood。 All of life at first is a long sleep; a long dream。 You fall asleep at the moment you are born; and never wake up; never wake up until finally one day the dream beast calls you。 You go then; into the forest; sometimes only a few steps; sometimes to the edge of the world。 You go until you meet the beast who calls you。 The beast is not in a dream。 The beast wakes you up from the dream。 The beast shows you who you are; teaches you your place in the land。 Then you go home awake; awake at last; and tell the shaman and your mother and your sisters who the dream beast was。 A bear? A badger? A bird? A fish? A hawk or an eagle? A bee or a wasp? The shaman will tell you stories and help you choose your woke…up name。 Your mother and sisters will name all your children; whether they have been born yet or not。
  All of Lolla…Wossiky's brothers met their dream beasts long ago。 Now his mother was dead; his two sisters were gone to live with another tribe。 Who would name his children?
  I know; said Lolla…Wossiky。 I know。 Lolla…Wossiky will never have children; this old one…eyed whisky…Red。 But Lolla…Wossiky will find his dream beast。 Lolla…Wossiky will wake up。 Lolla…Wossiky will have his woke…up name。
  Then Lolla…Wossiky will see if he should live or die。 If the black noise goes on; and waking up teaches him nothing more than he knows now; Lolla…Wossiky will go sleep in the river and let it roll him to the sea; far away from the land and the black noise。 But if waking up teaches him some reason to live on; black noise or not; then Lolla…Wossiky will live; many long years of drink and pain; pain and drink。
  Lolla…Wossiky drank four swallows every morning; four swallows every night; and then went to sleep hoping that when the dream beast woke him up; he then could die。
  
  ***
  
  One day he stood on the banks of a clearwater stream; with the black noise thick in his vision and loud in his ears。 A great brown bear stood in the water。 It slapped the face of the water and a fish flew into the air。 The bear caught it in his teeth; chomped twice; and swallowed。 It was not the eating that Lolla…Wossiky cared about。 It was the bear's eyes。
  The bear had one eye missing; just like Lolla…Wossiky。 This made Lolla…Wossiky wonder if the bear could be his dream beast。 But that could not be。 The white light that called him was still north and somewhat west of this place。 So this bear was not the dream beast; it was part of the dream。
  Still; it might have a message for Lolla…Wossiky。 This bear might be here because the land wanted to tell Lolla…Wossiky a story。
  This is the first thing Lolla…Wossiky noticed: When the bear caught the fish in his jaws; he was looking with his single eye; seeing the glimmer of sunlight shining on the fish。 Lolla…Wossiky knew about this; cause Lolla…Wossiky tilted his head to one side just like the bear。
  This is the second thing Lolla…Wossiky noticed: When the bear looked into the water to see the fish swimming; so he could slap at it; he looked with the other eye; with the eye that wasn't there。 Lolla…Wossiky didn't understand this。 It was very strange;
  This is the last thing Lolla…Wossiky noticed: As he watched the bear; his own good eye was closed。 And when he opened his eye; the river was still there; the sunlight was still there; the fishes still danced into the air and then disappeared; but the bear was gone。 Lolla…Wossiky could see the bear only if he closed his good eye。
  Lolla…Wossiky drank two swallows; from the keg; and the bear went away。
  
  ***
  
  One day Lolla…Wossiky crossed a White man's road; and felt it like a river moving under his feet。 The current of the road swept him along。 He staggered with it; then caught the stride and jogged along; the keg on his shoulder。 A Red man never walked on the White man's road  the dirt was packed too hard in dry weather; mud too deep in rain; and the wagon wheel ruts reached out like White man's hands to turn the Red man's ankle; trip him up; break him down。 This time; though; the ground was soft like spring grass on a riverbank; as long as Lolla…Wossiky ran along the road the right direction。 Not toward the light anymore; cause the light was soft around him; and he knew the dream beast was very very close。
  The road three times went over water  two little streams and a big one  and each time there was a bridge; made of great heavy logs and sturdy planks; with a roof like a White man's house。 Lolla…Wossiky stood on the first bridge a long time。

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