anner.bloodandgold(v2)-第58部分

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neglect　because　he　had　once　educated　their　sons。
　　　I　saw　in　Vincenzo　just　the　sort　of　governor　I　would　need　for　all　the　apprentices　I　meant　to　buy　from　their　Masters；　boys　who　would　bring　some　skill　already　learnt　to　the　tasks　they　had　to　do　for　me。　I　was　also　pleased　with　the　fact　that　the　man　was　already　old　which　meant　I　did　not　have　to　be　tormented　by　the　spectacle　of　youth　dying　in　him。　Rather　I　could　pride　myself；　perhaps　foolishly；　on　visiting　upon　him　a　rather　splendid　old　age。
　　　How　did　I　find　the　creature？　I　went　about　reading　minds　to　discover　what　I　wanted。
　　　I　was　now　more　powerful　than　ever；　I　could　find　the　Evil　Doer　effortlessly。　I　could　hear　the　secret　thoughts　of　those　who　sought　to　cheat　me　or　those　who　loved　the　mere　sight　of　me。　And　the　latter　was　a　dangerous　thing。
　　　Why　dangerous；　you　might　ask？　The　answer　is　that　I　was　now　more　than　ever　susceptible　to　love；　and　when　seen　with　loving　eyes　I　knew　it　and　I　slowed　my　pace。
　　　What　a　strange　mood　would　descend　upon　me　while　walking　in　the　arcade　along　San　Marco　if　someone　should　be　looking　at　me　admiringly。
　　　
　　　
　　　I　would　turn　about；　taking　my　time；　and　double　back　perhaps；　and　only　reluctantly　move　away；　rather　like　a　bird　in　some　northern　clime　enjoying　the　warmth　of　the　sun　on　its　wings。
　　　Meantime；　with　gold　in　his　hands；　Vincenzo　was　sent　to　buy　fine　clothes　for　himself。　I　would　make　a　gentleman　of　him；　in　so　far　as　the　sumptuary　laws　allowed。
　　　And　seated　at　my　new　desk　in　a　spacious　bedchamber　floored　in　marble　with　windows　open　to　the　winds　off　the　canal；　I　wrote　out　lists　of　those　additional　luxuries　which　I　desired。
　　　I　wanted　a　lavish　old　Roman…style　bath　built　for　me　in　this　bedchamber；　so　that　I　could　enjoy　the　warm　water　whenever　I　wished。　I　wanted　shelves　for　my　books；　and　a　finer　chair　for　this　desk。　Of　course　there　should　be　another　library。　What　was　a　house　to　me　if　it　did　not　possess　a　library？　I　wanted　the　finest　clothing；　the　fashionable　hats　and　leather　shoes。
　　　I　drew　pictures　to　guide　those　who　would　carry　out　my　designs。
　　　These　were　heady　times。　I　was　a　part　of　life　once　more　and　my　heart　was　beating　to　a　human　pace。
　　　Hailing　a　gondola　at　the　quais；　I　traveled　the　canals　for　hours　looking　up　at　the　spectacular　facades　which　made　up　the　waterways　of　Venice。　I　listened　to　the　voices　everywhere。　I　lay　back　sometimes　on　my　elbow　and　gazed　up　at　the　stars。
　　　At　various　goldsmith　shops　and　painters'　workshops　I　chose　my　first　gathering　of　apprentices；　taking　every　opportunity　to　select　the　brilliant　ones　who　were　for　various　reasons　among　the　wronged；　and　neglected；　and　abused。　They　would　show　me　profound　loyalty　and　untapped　knowledge；　and　I　sent　them　off　to　their　new　home　with　gold　coins　in　their　hands。
　　　Of　course　I　procured　clever　assistants　because　those　were　necessary；　but　I　knew　I　would　be　very　successful　with　the　poorlings。　Force　was　riot　required。
　　　Meantime；　it　was　my　wish　that　my　boys　should　be　educated　for　the　university…not　a　customary　thing　with　a　painter's　apprentice…so　I　chose　tutors　for　them　and　arranged　for　these　men　to　e　to　my　house　in　the　daylight　hours　to　perform　instruction　as　required。
　　　The　boys　would　learn　Latin；　Greek；　philosophy；　the　newfound　and　much　valued　〃classics；〃　some　mathematics　and　whatever　they　needed　to　proceed　in　life。　If　they　excelled　in　painting　and　they　chose　it；　they　could　of　course　forget　the　university　and　follow　the　painter's　path。
　　　
　　　
　　　Finally　I　had　a　houseful　of　healthy　and　noisy　activity。　There　were　cooks　in　the　kitchen；　and　musicians　teaching　my　boys　to　sing　and　play　the　lute。　There　were　dancing　instructors　and　there　were　fencing　matches　over　the　marble　floors　of　the　great　salons。
　　　But　I　did　not　open　my　doors　to　the　populace　as　I　had　done　in　long　ago　Rome。
　　　I　was　too　wary　to　do　such　a　thing　in　Venice；　too　unsure　of　my　ruse；　too　uncertain　of　what　questions　my　mad　painting　might　arouse。
　　　No；　I　need　only　have　my　young　male　assistants；　I　fancied；　both　to　keep　me　pany　and　to　help　me；　for　there　was　much　to　be　done　preparing　the　walls　for　my　frescoes　and　covering　my　panels　and　canvases　with　the　proper　varnishes　for　my　work。
　　　As　it　turned　out；　there　was　not　much　for　anyone　to　do　for　some　weeks；　for　during　that　period　I　wandered　the　local　workshops　and　studied　the　painters　of　Venice　as　I　had　studied　the　painters　of　Florence　not　long　before。
　　　There　was　no　doubt　in　my　mind；　after　this　studious　examination；　that　I　could　mimic　mortal　work　to　some　extent；　but　I　could　not　hope　to　surpass　it。　And　I　feared　what　I　would　acplish。　And　I　resolved　to　keep　my　house　closed　to　all　but　the　boys　and　their　instructors　as　arranged。
　　　Taking　to　my　bedroom　study；　I　began　a　journal　of　my　thoughts；　the　first　I　had　ever　kept　since　the　nights　in　old　Rome。
　　　I　wrote　of　the　forts　I　enjoyed。　And　I　chastised　myself　with　more　clarity　than　I　did　in　my　mind。
　　　〃You　have　bee　a　fool　for　the　love　of　mortals；〃　I　wrote；　far　more　than　you　ever　did　in　the　ancient　nights。　For　you　know　you　have　chosen　these　boys　so　that　you　might　instruct　them　and　mold　them；　and　there　will　be　loving　in　it　and　hope　in　it；　and　the　intention　of　sending　them　on　to　be　educated　at　Padua；　as　though　they　were　your　mortal　children。
　　　But　what　if　they　should　e　to　discover　that　you　are　a　beast　in　heart　and　soul；　and　they　run　from　your　touch；　what　then？　Will　you　slaughter　them　in　their　innocence？　This　is　not　ancient　Rome　with　its　nameless　millions。　This　is　the　strict　Republic　of　Venice　where　you　play　your　games；　and　for　what？
　　　For　the　color　of　the　evening　sky　over　the　piazza　that　you　see　when　you　are　first　risen；　for　the　domes　of　the　church　beneath　the　moon？　For　the　color　of　the　canals　that　only　you　can　behold　in　the　starlight？　You　are　a　wicked　and　greedy　creature。
　　　Will　art　satisfy　you？　You　hunt　elsewhere；　in　the　surrounding　towns　and　hamlets；　or　even　in　distant　cities；　for　you　can　move　with　the　speed　of　a　god。　But　you　bring　evil　to　Venice　because　you　are　evil；　and　in　your　fine　palazzo；　lies　are　told；　lies　are　lived；　lies　may　fail。
　　　I　put　down　the　quill。　I　read　over　my　words；　forever　memorizing　them；　as　if　they　were　a　foreign　voice　speaking　to　me；　and　only　when　I'd　finished　did　I　look　up　to　see　Vincenzo；　so　polite　and　humble；　and　so　dignified　in　his　new　clothes；　waiting　to　speak　to　me。
　　　〃What　is　it？〃　I　asked　gently　so　as　not　to　make　him　think　I　disapproved　of　him　for　ing　in。
　　　〃Master；　only　let　me　tell　you　。　。　。〃　he　said。　He　looked　quite　elegant　in　his　new　velvet；　rather　like　a　prince　at　court。
　　　〃Yes；　do　tell　me；〃　I　said。
　　　〃It's　only　that　the　boys　are　so　happy。　They　are　all　in　bed　now　and　sleeping。　But　do　you　know　what　it　means　to　them　that　they　have　plenty　to　eat　and　decent　clothes；　and　are　learning　their　lessons　with　a　purpose？　I　could　tell　you　many　stories；　too　many　I　think。　There's　not　a　dullard　among　them。　It's　such　luck。〃
　　　I　smiled。
　　　〃That's　very　good；　Vincenzo；〃　I　said。　〃Go　have　your　supper。　Enjoy　as；　much　wine　as　you　wish。〃
　　　I　sat　in　the　stillness　after　he　had　left　me。
　　　It　seemed　quite　impossible　that　I　had　made　this　residence　for　myself；　and　that　nothing　had　stopped　me。　I　had　hours　before　dawn　during　which　I　might　rest　on　my　bed；　or　read　among　my　new　books　before　making　the　short　journey　to　another　place　within　the　city　where　a　sarcophagus　had　been　hidden　in　a　gold…lined　chamber　in　which　I　would　sleep　by　day。
　　　But　I　chose　instead　to　go　to　the　great　room　which　I　had　designated　as　my　studio；　and　there　I　found　the　pigments　and　other　materials　ready　for　me；　including　several　wooden　panels　which　my　young　apprentices　had　prepared　as　directed　for　me　to　paint。
　　　It　was　a　small　matter　to　blend　the　tempera　and　I　did　it　quickly　so　that　I　had　a　wealth　of　colors　at　my　mand；　and　then　glancing　over　and　over　again　into　a　mirror　which　I　had　brought　into　the　room　with　me；　I　painted　my　own　portrait　in　quick　exact　strokes　with　little　or　no　correction　until　it　was　plete。
　　　As　soon　as　I　was　finished；　I　stood　back　from　my　creation；　and　I　found　myself　staring　into　my　own　eyes。　It　wasn't　the　man　of　long　ago　who　had　died　in　the　northern　forest；　or　the　frantic　blood　drinker　who　had　taken　the　Mother　and　the　Father　out　of　Egypt。　Nor　was　it　the　starved　and　dogged　wanderer　who　had　slipped　soundlessly　through　time　for　so　many　hundreds　of　years。
　　　It　was　a　bold　and　proud　immortal　who　looked　at　me；　a　blood　drinker　who　demanded　that　the　world　at　last　give　him　some　quarter；　an　aberrant　being　of　immense　power　who　insisted　that　he　might　have　a　place　among　the　human　beings　of　which　he　had　in　former　times　been　one。
　　　As　the　months　passed；　I　discovered　that　my　plan　was　working　quite　well。　In　fact　it　was　working　marvelously！
　　　I　became　obsessed　with　my　new　clothing　of　the　period；　velvet　tunics　and　stockings；　and　marvelous　cloaks　trimmed　in　rare　fur。　Indeed　mirrors　were　an　obsession　with　me　now　as　well。　I　could　not　stop　looking　at　my　own　reflection。　I　applied　the　salves　with　great　care。
　　　Each　evening；　after　sunset；　I　arose　fully　dressed　with　the　requisite　disguise　on　my　skin；　and　I　arrived　at　my　palazzo　to　a　warm　greeting　from　all　my　children；　and　then　dismissing　the　many　teachers　and　tutors；　I　presided　over　a　good　banquet　with　my　children　where　all